I’m going to put this out there because I know some of you are interested in my journey…
I recognize that working out is not enough to take off weight. I know diet plays a HUGE role as well but so does your physiological makeup & what’s going on inside might be part of the problem. My frustration comes in the fact that for almost 3 years now the scale has not moved. Doesn’t matter what I do, how hard I go at boot camp, how I change up my diet the scale remains stuck at 186. rather than beat myself up i realized that perhaps there is something going on with me internally that might need to be handled with medicine or vitamins. Yesterday I went to see Dr. Dennis Gage here in NYC to get on a program for weight management. I took a TON of tests, blood, sweat, breathing, EKG and today I have to track my food for a full week. EVERYTHING I eat gets recorded but not just what I’m eating.
I’m being asked to chart:
What time I begin a meal & what time I finish a meal
Where I eat
What my physical position is (sitting, lying down, standing)
iIf I’m with people or alone
If I’m doing anything while I’m eating
what my mood is
how hungry I am
A description of what I ate
I HATE food tracking. It is for me the absolute most inefective diet tool there is. It causes me to be hyper aware of my caloric intake which leads to anxiety & guilt which leads to depression & a feeling of real hopeleness.
As a fat chick I PROMISE you I’m already hyper aware of what I put into my body and the choices I make. EVERY meal is a battle to eat the right things and not what I really want to eat. Every dessert I deny myself is a cycle of anger, anxiety and sadness.
Going out to eat with friends usually is an exercise in hyper awareness on the judgements passed by thin friends on my food. (while being very aware that they most likey AREN’T judging me and I’m projecting onto them)
So asking me to track my food usually causes me to dig in my heels and run the other way.
This time though I need to take a deep breath and trust that there is a reason for this tracking. It’s only a week and it’s not going to be the end of the world.
Having said that I can already feel the anxiety from the three scrambled eggs I ate this morning knowing I’ve burned 300 of my daily calories and only have 1000 left for the whole day….